Love your life whatever your life circumstances
A lot can change over the years. Life circumstances can gradually shift over time or drastically change in an instant, causing you to get away from loving your life. We set goals that we would like to achieve and might even write out a 5-year plan. Some goals might have been met, and others are a distant dream. We don’t have control over everything that happens to us. Only how we respond.
Who we were 5, 10, even 15 years ago might not be someone we’re proud of. But it’s also a great thing to be in a better, healthier place than we were in the past. Even still, I’m sure some things have slipped through the cracks. The smallest adjustment in trajectory can really take us off course.
When you allow yourself to be uniquely you, loving your life will happen naturally. In this article, we’ll discuss why this happened, how to rediscover yourself, and what to correct to get back on track by being purposeful in how you spend your time.
Losing your identity
In the book, The Road Back to You, Ian Cron discusses how our personalities are influenced at a young age. Our character is shaped in two distinct ways. One involves who we actually are, and the other utilizes coping mechanisms to protect ourselves instinctually. I love how he describes it: “It’s staggering to think how many messages our uncritical minds and heart pick up and internalize in childhood, and how many hours and dollars we later spend on therapists trying to pick them out of your psyches like burrs from the coat of a sheepdog.”
Marriage brings two people who each have their own baggage, as mentioned above. But also their personalities could be very different. Can anyone say, Opposites attract!! There needs to be a certain level of give and take; compromise from each side. When a person gives in too much or lacks the understanding or confidence to speak up for their needs, who they are can slowly fade into the shadows.
It’s easy for moms to feel like they only live for their kids. Maybe a career got put on hold. Or they had children back to back, leading to a lot of sleepless years and changing diapers. Kid’s activities can take priority, and a mom who enjoys the orchestra and sitting with a good book might end up spending her time on the soccer field.
Once in a job always in a job, right? No, let’s hope not, but sometimes it feels like that’s the case. A study was done showing that over half of employees are unhappy in their jobs. To me, this indicates that a lot of people are doing work that they don’t enjoy.
It doesn’t always need to be this way, but it’s easy to feel stuck. To have employment and an income is super important. Maybe you’re not in a place to change employments or can’t find something different to do. But the more you understand yourself, the more creative you can get on how to make your job line up with who you are.
There are a lot of people facing health issues that keep them from the life they want to live. Autoimmune disorders are on the rise. So is adrenal fatigue and plain old burnout. We can’t always control our health, but we can make adjustments to hopefully make the most out of the circumstances.
Learning who you are and what’s important to you prompts you to prioritize yourself. When you realize and envision your potential, it gives you the motivation and persistence to make changes that will lead to better, healthier energy levels.
Lack of Self-Confidence
The influence of others can cause this or negative self-talk can be a culprit. There’s nothing worse than doubting yourself. Being told you’re not good enough or useless.
Fighting back means standing up for yourself when your inner self is saying horrible things about you or someone is unnecessarily critical of you. Either way, it’s an awful thing to go through, but so important to overcome.
Where you are currently
How would you describe your level of personal contentment on a scale of 1-10? Did you identify with any of the situations described above? Would rediscovering who you help you be more satisfied in life?
I’m not sure where the thought originated from, but this topic has been on my mind so much lately. I’ve been pondering what I want out of life and how I can be a better person. Now that I’ve worked through why I feel so off base, I can now start to figure out a way to get back on track.
Go back to your childhood
A lot of us have lost memories, some good and some bad. Even with the best of childhoods, our parents weren’t perfect. We carry some of their baggage along with us and things we need to work through. But I would like you to focus not so much on issues, but on times where you were happy or felt like you were free to be you.
I’m not a very showy person. I’m very much an introvert, and this is apparent to me in my childhood. I loved to read and would always have my nose in a book.
I also seemed to have always been a planner. Funny fact: I saved up my allowance until I was able to buy myself a waterbed in fourth grade (can you tell I’m a child of the ’80s??).
What are some memories you have of growing up or through high school, that just scream “you”?
Who do you want to be?
Or maybe a better question is, “who are you?” The goal isn’t to be someone we’re not, as this is the exact issue we’re trying to avoid. So, how do you get to know yourself better? What does rediscovering yourself look like?
I’ve always loved the Myers-Briggs personality test, but I’m really getting into the enneagram. But in some ways, we don’t need a test or psychology to tell us who we are. Go back to your roots. Love your life; get to the core of who you are. Strengths and weaknesses. Likes and dislikes. The best way to determine this is to think about your natural tendencies. Some might be good- capitalize on them. Some might be bad- strive to minimize these.
Only you can answer this question as you are uniquely you.
Why this is so important
So, why does this even matter? I think it’s essential to capitalize on the time we have here on earth and make the most out of every moment. To be intentional with our time and to consider how we choose to spend it. This includes valuing yourself which will help you love your life.
If not, we end up going along each moment, waiting for the next great thing to come along. There’s no real purpose to our actions and not a lot of meaning to life. Each of us is gifted and valuable and can make a significant impact on those around us.
It’s easy to get off the path of where you wanted to go. And we all make mistakes, waste time, and even feel sorry for ourselves. The main thing is to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and move on to something better.
In learning to meditate, then we must pay attention firstly to ourselves. We must become fully aware of who we are. If we can apprehend for a moment the truth that we are created by God, we can begin to sense something of our own potentiality.
“Word into Silence: A Manual for Christian Meditation” by John Main
What this looks like practically
It’s not always easy to figure out if you’re in a place you don’t want to be—kind of like the frog placed in water that slowly comes to a boil. Maybe one day, you wake up and realize that something is missing. How do you get back on track?
7 ways to get back to the life you love
What makes you feel fulfilled and successful? Is there something you’ve done over the years that made you get out of bed and ready to face the day with excitement? Does your life feel a little dull and lackluster? Have you settled into a rut that’s not all that healthy?
- Identify your purpose. Make sure you know what will make you feel fulfilled.
- Have a more positive outlook. Identify negative self-talk in your life and become of when it happens.
- Get back into a particular hobby. Is there something you’ve given up over the years that would add pep back to your step?
- Get back to something you love to do that is healthy. Have you gotten into some bad habits when it comes to food and exercise? Are there any physical activities you enjoy, so exercise doesn’t feel so tedious?
- Say no to some things in your life. There are just certain things that might need to go. Learn to say no or rid your schedule of activities that aren’t in line with your purpose.
- Consider a career change. This might not be possible, and if not, is there a project you could pitch to your boss or even a way to put a positive spin on the work you do?
- Seek professional help. Sometimes we need help working through the baggage we carry. It can be an amazing experience talking with a counselor who understands you and can help you know yourself better too.
overcome your shortcomings
In the book, The Alter Ego Effect: the Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life, Todd Herman explains how to bring out the best in yourself. We have negative thoughts and emotions that hold us back, that have infiltrated our minds and have weakened our self-esteem. It’s important to recognize these hangups. But another premise of the book is to use the strengths of others to help us be better and accomplish more.
Don’t hold everything in: Communication is key
Communicate this with family/friends who are involved in your life. They need to understand where you’re coming from and not be shocked by this sudden shift in attitude and activities. You might be met with some resistance if you’re trying to improve something in your life that also affects them. They might be willing to jump right in and work on something right alongside you.
Here’s to returning to the life you love.
Hi, I’m Shara
I have a passion for organizing. This stems from being naturally drawn to simplicity and structure in my home. Combined with my desire to help women achieve their goals, Simply Renewed Living was born.