unwavering confidence. Girl holding a weight and doing a curl, showing strength and perseverance

Unwavering Confidence Starts with Accepting Yourself

In this article, we talked about how to accept yourself and the benefits of doing so.  Doing some soul searching and figuring yourself out can be exhilarating and freeing.  It’s easy to feel self-doubt and belittle yourself.  But I also want to explore additional ways to accept yourself so that you develop unwavering confidence.

Confidence can get a bad rap.  No one wants to be around someone who is overly confident.  But confidence is more than just being correct or knowing it all.  I like the following definition: feeling or showing certainty about something.  When we trust ourselves, but also value others, this is the balance that we should all be striving for.

The funny thing is, lacking self-confidence can be almost as bad as being overly confident.  Being uncertain and doubting yourself keeps you from your life purpose, from reaching your goals.  Just as much as we don’t want to be arrogant, we also don’t want opportunities to pass us by.  Evaluating your level of self-confidence and re-evaluating on a regular basis helps maintain balance.

unwavering confidence. Girl holding a weight and doing a curl, showing strength and perseverance

The Benefits of Unwavering Confidence

  • Won’t buckle under pressure
  • Aren’t bothered about what people think
  • Can handle stressful situations
  • Maintain a positive attitude and overcome negative emotions more quickly
  • Become more decisive and confident in decision making

These benefits can have an impact on multiple facets of life.  It can permeate your relationships, your professional life, and your personal activities.  Feeling better about yourself will help you make better decisions and not feel guilty if something doesn’t go as expected.  It’s not easy gaining confidence and pushing away the negativity that can creep in, but here are some ways to help develop unwavering confidence.

How to Build Up Your Confidence

Unwavering confidence doesn’t happen overnight.  We have been shaped by our life experiences, personal hangups, relational influences, and negative situations that have caused us to doubt ourselves and feel incompetent.  The following steps can help you develop confidence in yourself and gain positive acceptance in who you are.

Accepting Yourself

When you know yourself, you can embrace your uniqueness.  You can’t be confident without liking yourself.  This seems so basic, but when we live in a society that is always chasing the newest greatest thing, who values the beautiful, the perfect shape, money, possessions, popularity, it’s easy to feel bad about yourself and want to be someone else.  Discover your strengths, understand your limitations, and hone in what’s important to you.

Accepting yourself doesn’t stop there.  It also includes valuing yourself, determining your purpose, and living up to your full potential.  This might not happen overnight, but as you keep working things, there will be less inner conflict, allowing you to be true to yourself.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Comparison can be like poison.  It’s so easy to look at someone else’s life and feel jealousy or envy.  The hardest thing about comparison is that we don’t see the whole picture.  We don’t see the intricacies of their life so we don’t see the whole story.

Comparison impedes confidence because it’s not your story so you living someone else’s isn’t living fully.  Comparison isn’t always easily recognizable, but stopping to listen to your inner voice will help to start realize when it’s happening, along with paying attention to negative feelings.  Since you’ve started accepting yourself, you can replace comparison with thoughts about embracing who you are.

Be Realistic

Accepting yourself and gaining confidence also means accepting weaknesses and faults.  Knowing your limitations and being comfortable with them helps live within the confines of your giftedness, setting yourself up for success.  You become more confident not committing yourself to things you aren’t good at or setting goals you won’t be able to successfully achieve. Being realistic is the opposite of being overly confident.

Don’t Entertain Negative Self-Talk

It’s so easy for me to be too hard on myself.  It’s easy to get in a negative mood and let my thoughts go awry.  There can be a lot of factors that lead to negative thoughts and it’s important to recognize them and process them properly.  Journaling is a great way to combat negativity and allows for you to step back and analyze these thoughts from a neutral place.  Pretend as if a friend is saying these things to you about themselves and jot down how you would respond; how you would encourage them to think about themselves differently.

When you are able to recognize when you thoughts and emotions are turning negative, you can journal, and turn them around to something positive.  This will help boost confidence and help overcome negativity.

Don’t Rely On Others For Your Happiness

Your are responsible for your happiness and relying on other for your happiness will only lead to disappointment.  And people don’t always have your best interests in mind.  They might have hidden motives or at least might not see the whole picture to understand you well enough.  And people just let others down.  It happens.

When you are confident in who you are and your decision making capabilities, you can value the input of others without relying on them too much. And you can identify when others are negatively influencing you to do something that is not in line with who you are or where you want to go.

Constantly Re-Evaluate and Adjust as Necessary

When something doesn’t go right or work out as expected, it’s better to evaluate and adjust instead of beating yourself up for making the wrong decision.  It’s easy to focus on these things, but let go of the past and move forward.  Take one step at a time, learn from mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on. You now have the confidence to know you can make better decisions and don’t let setbacks get your down.

Focus on the future and what you can change.  There will always be should be’s and could haves.  But there is always hope and a fresh start.

Identify Faulty Thinking

There’s a lot of things that cause us to doubt ourselves. We’ve had negative experiences, people who have put us down, traumatic experiences that were difficult and debilitating.  It might have been a lie we’ve lived with for so long that we believe it’s the truth.  It’s so important to identify the things we think about ourselves that are lies and replace them with truths.

Overcoming these obstacles won’t be easy.  It can take a lot of soul searching and inner work to conquer some of these beliefs, especially if you believed these things about yourself for a long time.  But you will finally find the freedom when you replace these thoughts with positive ones.


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Accepting Yourself and Self-Confidence

These two things are not necessarily easy for me.  Perfection and self-doubt get in the way.  Difficult circumstances happen and people have disappointed me. It’s easy to become despondent and let these circumstances get to me.  But if I stay focused on the benefits of staying positive and embracing who I am, I can overcome any negative feelings and emotions I am feeling.

I hope these thoughts help you gain confidence in yourself and your abilities.  To accept yourself for who you are and embrace your purpose.  To know you’re not alone in the struggle with self-doubt.  That you can do whatever you put your mind to and can reach your goals.  Take a deep breath and focus on the positive!

Hi, I’m Shara

I have a passion for organizing. This stems from being naturally drawn to simplicity and structure in my home. Combined with my desire to help women achieve their goals, Simply Renewed Living was born.


  1. Love this post. Yes feeling good about yourself and accepting yourself is key to happiness. I find the older I get, the better I am at this too.

  2. Thanks for sharing these tips! Becoming aware of old thinking patterns and consciously replacing them with new beliefs is definitely beneficial. Confidence is a mindset we can cultivate everyday! 🙂

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