Is Being True To Yourself A Bad Thing?

Personal growth is extremely important to me.  And the first step to personal growth involves examining oneself which I think leads to being true to yourself in turn.  If we don’t challenge ourselves to be better, we can’t impact others in a meaningful way.  When we aren’t honest with ourselves about our selfishness, personal issues, and shortcomings, we end up projecting our baggage onto others, which can be hurtful.

Being true to yourself is a theme that is very prevalent in today’s culture.   This phrase can be seen as something positive but also as negative and detrimental.  I do agree that there is definitely a selfish side to this phrase, one that encourages us to seek out whatever we think will make us happy and free us from the hurts of this world.  This can be seen in the fairytale world of Disney and even in literature as in the book, The Awakening. 

This book was at the start of feminism and ends very tragically.  This shows that the theme of being true to yourself has been around for a while and is here to stay.  Therefore, this phrase needs further consideration as to the meaning it has in today’s society and how it paves the road to a deeper understanding of inner conflict, and the struggles we face currently.   

This is the main question: If we are being true to ourselves, how do we determine what is true? 

Where does your personal identity come from?

There are three things that shape the view you hold of yourself. What we believe about ourselves can be seen through the eyes of others. It can also be shaped by your own pride in valuing yourself too much. the third way is through self-loathing where you put yourself down and feel inadequate. 

Caring Too Much About What Others Think Of Us

We all seek out approval.  We all want encouragement from others.  But when this desire overpowers our ability to live out our calling and fulfill our purpose, things have become unbalanced.  It’s only since I’ve started challenging this crippling mindset that I’ve been able to figure out what works for me and to carefully consider the opinions and advice of others.

We were created for connection, but it’s important to remember that not everyone has our best interests in mind. Click To Tweet

We need to be cautious of how others treat us and the negative toll that can have on our confidence and how we view our self-worth.  Not everyone has your best interest in mind.  There are too many “should” and “should not’s” that we are told to follow. If you are trying to live up to someone else’s expectations, you will set yourself up for failure or at a minimum unhappiness.

The Age of Entitlement

When we think too highly of ourselves, and our true desires are selfish ones, we will only bring harm and pain to others.  This can go as far as just being rude and inconsiderate, to the extreme of criminal behavior.  The flip side of the coin when considering being true to yourself is a serious one. 

Narcissism is also a term that is used a lot these days.  It’s a term that is loosely used, but I think for the sake of being true to yourself, it is an important avenue to consider and examine, as it’s easy for all of us to become self-absorbed.

When We Develop an Inferiority Complex

An inferiority complex can develop at a very young age when we feel like we can’t meet up to our parents’ expectations or go through life feeling like we aren’t good enough.  This can be seen in those who struggle with perfectionism.  There is value in being true to yourself because we are all created with value and purpose; each with different skills and talents that make us unique.   

Being too hard on yourself and falling into negative self-talk way too often is just as bad as being prideful. Instead of being consumed by arrogance, this involves being consumed with devaluing yourself.  But this is not a reason to beat yourself up even more.  That is where self-examination and objectivity come in. 

Being true to yourself doesn’t mean makes excuses for your behavior or shortcomings, but it also doesn’t mean devaluing yourself. Click To Tweet

Why Accepting Yourself Is Horrible Advice

The other pitfall of being true to yourself is that we should just accept ourselves for who we are.  The pursuit of self-examination leads to self-awareness, but that doesn’t mean we should just accept the things we discover about ourselves.  Everyone is unique, valuable, and important, but that doesn’t give us the excuse to just settle for how things are now. 

Accepting ourselves means giving up.  We all have faults, bad habits, selfish desires, and even harmful motives that could lead to hurting another person with our words and actions.  Each person has a choice of who they want to be.  We can put other people’s needs above our own and be a valuable participant in society or we can choose to live life without considering the consequences of our actions. 

So, I hope this helps you find balance in the opinion of others, prideful confidence, and putting yourself down.  Self-examination is an analysis of yourself that is honest and beneficial. These three areas involve sources of information and belief systems that might not be true. 

Self-examination & Self-Improvement go Hand-in-Hand

By Definition, self-examination is a reflective examination (as of one’s beliefs or motives): introspection

Merriam-Webster

This might seem like a really long, pointless article that has nothing to do with organizing or homemaking.  I have struggled with reaching the goals I’ve set over the years. And it has caused me to question the reason behind this.  If my goals were not in line with who I am, it’s nearly impossible to reach these goals because they’re not necessarily worth achieving.  Even if they are, I still had limiting beliefs about myself which were another reason I failed. 

Self-examination is an important part of the organizing process. It will help you evaluate what’s working, what’s not working, and how you really want life to look like.  As you work towards the goals you set, you will see improvement in these areas and finally achieve your goals which lead to fulfilling your purpose.